So many writers think they should never pay for publishing. I don’t blame them for thinking that way, but here’s how it really plays out.

Authors are natural idealists, so of course we typically figure we can get a deal with a big publishing company, leading to smooth sailing and great success. But landing a deal with a publishing giant is easier said than done.

More often than not, a writer will never hear back from a publishing company. If you are fortunate enough to get a response, don’t be surprised to receive one that says “we cannot accept your manuscript at this time.” In other words, they don’t think they can make enough money off you.

The Big Five publishers – Penguin Random House, Hachette, McMillan, Simon & Schuster and HarperCollins – operate out of a financial formula. That means a book by someone famous, a tell-all by someone once in the limelight, or a biography of a celebrity are sure to sell. There’s a guaranteed audience for those types of books. The great literary work of art you wrote…eh, who reads classics anymore?

Can you tweak your work to make it more marketable? Sure, but the big companies don’t give you any sufficient review or feedback either. How will you even know what to change?

Feel like you’re ready to give up? It happens. A lot. In the words of the late, great John Gardner, “Down goes another novelist.”

Getting from a manuscript to the final product has a lot of steps in between. Agent, editor, illustrator, publisher. Even if you do get that sought-after acceptance letter, the process can still be a nightmare.

Have an idea for the cover? You probably won’t get any say on how the book you labored over for years will look as a finished product. Don’t like the editor’s changes? Tough. Better make them all, or you’ll find yourself in breach of contract.

And as for the money…well, how do you think the Big 5 publishers have created such huge fortunes? Let’s just say your payout may not be quite what you expected. Your agent helped you get the deal, right? There goes 15% right off the top. And the publishing company themselves will gladly take more than their fair share of the pie.

So what do you get?

At $10/book, a large publisher would keep over 75% of each sale, paying the author as little as 8% for the first 150,000 books. Were you one of the fortunate few to get an advance? Well, before you even see that 8%, you have to pay back that advance. Let’s say it was $5,000. That means 6,250 book sales before you even start getting that big 80 cents per book royalty.

But not all experiences with publishing companies have to be this way. At Sahno Publishing, we think literary excellence is more important than a financial formula. Go to msahno.com for more information.

So I’ve been looking at some topics for blogs, and I find all kinds of great ideas.  One of the more amusing ones is posting about personal stuff or pet peeves, so your readers get to know you better. This idea can work, but it can also be a disaster. I’ve seen writers post all manner of personal stuff that, quite frankly, I don’t want to know. Worse, there’s no compelling reason to care. Does Glenda’s reader really need to know that she collects her own toenail clippings? Do my readers care that I don’t remember what I had for breakfast two weeks ago, but still remember the lyrics to every Frank Zappa song I learned when I was in high school?

I’m going to guess no. But pet peeves, well, that could be interesting…especially if they’re somehow relevant for writers, or just writing in general for civilians.

And then it hit me: with the continual (d)evolution of our language, there are some highly annoying phrases out there right now that make my skin crawl…that make me feel like that guy above. I’m sure I’m not the only one who majored in English who feels this way. Looking at articles online that address this topic-Most Annoying Words and Phrases of 2016, etc. – I find that even the perennial offenders like “whatever” or “like” don’t bother me as much as some of the others.

So here we go with my current, latest, on-the-fly Top Ten Words or Phrases That Will Make You Cringe.

  1. Adulting – I thought it was bad when the word parenting became not only accepted, but common. Never did figure out what was wrong with just saying raising children (maybe it was George Carlin: “Don’t plant ’em too deep!”), but okay…whatever! And now we have devolved to adulting? What’s next? Childing? This one is so weird that my phone autocorrected it to faulting when I typed it. Makes sense to me.
  2. Having said that/That being said – This is the new “um.” A totally unnecessary placeholder phrase. What surprises me is how many professional speakers, who are excellent at what they do, stick this into a talk…multiple times! I just came from an event with people who are way better speakers than me, and yet, I caught a few of them doing this…a lot.
  3. Epic – Okay, you know this one is bad. Worse than awesome. Let’s face it, awesome has, to some degree, become synonymous with cool. But if you say everything is epic, well, guess what? Nothing will be epic.
  4. At the end of the day – Having said that, I’m now going to be businesslike and make sure you know that, when it comes right down to it, at the end of the day…ah, just forget it.
  5. “No words” – I believe this gets written more than said, mainly on social media. It expresses horror, shock, sadness, etc., I guess. Problem is, you just wrote two words to tell us you have no words. See the problem?
  6. Cray cray – Okay, I’ll admit, I don’t think I’ve ever heard this from a person I actually know. This is more an obnoxious TV personality thing. But it’s beyond annoying. This is getting into punishable offense material. Just say crazy, okay? Better yet, don’t. Maybe that person has a genuine mental health issue.
  7. Porn – What? Porn, you say? Well, I’m talking about people calling everything that’s not porn, porn. Food porn. Nature porn. I don’t know that it necessarily devalues or legitimates actual porn, but it’s stupid, and kind of weird. Besides, do you really want to have to explain to your three-year-old when they ask, “Mommy, what’s word porn?”
  8. Vajayjay – Urban Dictionary has a great definition for this: The most annoying word known to woman. Now, I don’t know who started the trend – and again, I’ve never heard a person I know use it – but it’s childish. I get that some people think the word vagina sounds, well, overwhelmingly medicinal, but come on. There has to be a better solution.

Okay, there’s my list. I know, I only went as far as eight, but honestly…don’t you feel bad enough just from those?

You’re welcome.

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