“Feminism doesn’t bother me—for the simple fact that I know it’s going to fail.”
—Bill Burr
If you asked me ten or twenty years ago whether I believed in feminism, I would have said yes. Today, I would have to say absolutely not. So what’s changed?
I didn’t. Feminism did.
The original idea of women’s rights came within the context of the suffrage movement. The law considered women and children a man’s property unless a woman had neither husband nor children. The notion that “all men are created equal” did not include women.
However, many men and women recognized the absurdity of this situation. Many of these men fought alongside women to gain them rights—first the right to vote, and then for equal treatment under the law through the Equal Rights Amendment (ERA) in 1972. I grew up believing “all people are equal.”
“Girls Rule, Boys Drool”
Unfortunately, as women gained more personal and political freedom, the concept of patriarchy began to take hold among both women and even many men. The misguided aspect of this approach? That men—including all white men—suddenly got thrust into the role of “being part of the patriarchy.” Pretty hard to explain that to a 20-year-old Starbucks barista that he represents an example of an oppressive conspiracy.
At the same time, the role of men both at work and at home began to deteriorate. Women’s entry into the workforce en masse meant employers could pay less for a comparable amount of work. However, the pay gap didn’t help anyone except the few men (and a very few women) at the top. Wages and salaries in the U.S. have stagnated for the past 50 years. Few men today can support a family of four or even three on their salaries alone.
And as feminism became more mainstream, it also gradually became toxic within popular culture. Rather than strong, competent heads of households, media portrayed more and more men as Al Bundy-like boobs, while portraying more and more women as freer, more confident, and eventually, more masculine. Even before the massive social media addiction that exists today took hold, media popularized the horrendous phrase “Girls rule, boys drool” as early as 2000. I cannot imagine having to raise a male child in the atmosphere that has thrived over the past two decades.
The War On Men
Of course, as the age-old battle of the sexes escalated into an increasingly toxic war of attrition, the notion that “the future is female” (another toxic feminism slogan) meant young women in particular have grown up with an extremely jaded view of men—not just billionaires or religious extremists, but all men. A short survey of social media, particularly TikTok and YouTube videos, reveals countless young women who sassily declare, I don’t need no man, while “bragging” that they make 10K a month on OnlyFans or have had hundreds of sexual partners before the age of 30 or even 21.
Their viewpoint tends to be both cynical and jaundiced. An apparently vast number of these young women view men as little more than ATM machines. Social media has brainwashed them into thinking every woman is a “ten” on a one to ten scale, every woman deserves a mansion and a sports car, and any man making less than 100K annually is a “loser” (in other words, over 80% of men). An amazing number of these young women confidently state on camera, Men are stupid, Men are useless, or the inevitable, I hate men.
These attitudes surely contribute to the massive number of young single mothers, many of whom will raise boys with no male role model whatsoever. Check the cultural relevance of fatherhood against that of motherhood, and the diminished role of fathers becomes increasingly apparent.
Fortunately or unfortunately, this toxic brand of feminism is doomed to fail. As writer Mary Retta made clear in her 2020 article The 5th Wave, the feminist movement has splintered into warring factions, including those that view white women as “oppressors” like all of us evil men. She writes, “I feel confident that radicalism is not only a framework entrenched in optimism, but one that is necessary for progress.” In other words, a tiny marginalized minority like “radical Black feminists,” as she defines herself, must become mainstream. Kamala Harris was neither Black enough or liberal enough. If I disagree, of course, I must be a misogynist…or, God forbid, a racist. (Author aside: I’m neither. In fact, I’m happily married to a woman of color, and neither of us are conservatives by any reasonable metric.)
The Need for Sanity
The devolution of feminism into toxicity happened right alongside the defining of virtually every traditional male attribute as “toxic masculinity.” Although toning down machismo can help all of us, defining masculinity as toxic is a recipe for disaster. The most obvious example is that it led, or at least contributed, to the rise of a pompous blowhard becoming President twice. As I have said privately to several friends, “While people were busy arguing about pronouns, they literally lost the right to choose.”
I would never call femininity toxic, but toxic feminism is real. It is insane and dangerous to try to rapidly push a center-right country into a far-left agenda, as millions will now learn the hard way. The need for sanity, for being grown-ups, has never been more apparent. Women will need the help of men, many men, to get the pendulum to swing back the other way. Calling all men predators, or saying they are “bad” for the crime of existing, is the worst possible way to try to make that happen.
