If you follow my blog, you probably connected with me via Twitter, whether you’re a fellow author or not. In 2020, I wrote a post about Twitter for fellow writers that got a good response. Three years later, the landscape has changed, but some Twitter best practices remain timeless.

Today’s post takes changes on the platform into account: 

1) Don’t put “Aspiring Author” in your profile description – Look, I get it. You’re an aspiring author and you hope to be published some day, whether traditionally, by yourself, or some other way. But to potential readers, it doesn’t look great. It sounds like you hope something will happen. Something will happen, if you work for it. Better option: “Working on my first novel/book/short story collection,” or similar verbiage.

2) But don’t put “Published Author” in your description, either – This might seem like a no-brainer for authors, but I’m amazed by how often I see this. Again, I get it, you want everyone to know that you’re now published…no longer “aspiring!” However, many people will view that description and think, “What other kind of author is there? When you’re still unpublished, you’re just another writer. An author is someone who’s been published!” I’m not saying people are right to think that, but many will. And nothing turns off a potential reader like a redundant writer.

3) Please do not put “Writer” as your entire description – Unless you are already a household name, we want to know more about you. Your Twitter profile should be the opening gambit in a conversation. Mine begins with “Author. Editor. Publisher. Check out the Metaphysical & Visionary time travel novel #Whizzers, available worldwide: msahno.com.” I’m not saying it’s the best Twitter profile in the world…but it’s not as unimaginative as the single word “Writer.” Who wants to check out a book by that person?

4) Do add something personal – The remainder of my profile says “🚫DMs 🚫porn.” You might not think that’s very personal, but it tells you a couple things about me: I don’t respond to direct messages from strangers. Want to reach me? Reply to one of my tweets or @ mention me. As for porn, I don’t have a personal problem with it; I simply don’t want to repel potential followers by having it in my Twitter feed, and I’m not going to follow back porn accounts anyway. 

5) Don’t #hashtag a #bunch #of #words – Seriously, don’t. It’s annoying and hard to read. If you’re going to hashtag something in your Twitter profile, I’d suggest limiting it to a word or short phrase. I don’t recommend using a zillion hashtags in tweets either, but since my 2020 article, I’ve revised this advice slightly: don’t do it all the time. Once in a while, for periodic hashtags like #FollowFriday or #ShamelessSelfPromoSaturday, it’s probably fine.

6) Avoid the Direct Message trap – I must admit I used to have an automated greeting message that went out to every new follower I gained. It was a rookie move, and I paid the price. First, most of those messages come with a Call to Action. So they’re like, “Hi, thanks for following me. Now that you’ve done me a kindness, please give me much more by following me on Instagram, liking my Facebook page, and buying my stuff.” Uh, no. 

Second, who the heck has time to read all these? If you get a couple hundred new followers per month, and 10% of them send an auto-DM, that’s 20 messages per month. I don’t have time to read all those. Do you? 

And there you have it. A short Twitter tips post for a Monday in January. I hope they help you grow your following. Please comment below if you have an additional tip or want to discuss these.

Last April, I wrote a blog post called Back on Track With a Work-In-Progress. Part of that post was to talk about the difference between a “plotter” and a “pantser” (and to describe myself as a hybrid of the two, a “plantser”). Another, less obvious motive, was to reassure myself that I was indeed back on track with my WIP.

You can probably already guess what this week’s post is about, based on the Ozzy Osbourne reference above. For those not in the know—anyone under 30, I’d guess—Ozzy was the lead singer of a heavy metal group called Black Sabbath and had a hit in his solo career with the song Crazy Train.

To reassure you that I’ve not gotten onto a crazy train, let me say this: I was never that tightly wound. Or maybe I’m too tightly wound. Whatever the case, I’m not out to lunch, coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs, or a couple french fries short of a happy meal. But my WIP is indeed off the rails. Let me explain.

Word Counts vs. Energy vs. Inspiration…?

My life as a writer has been an unusual one thus far. Starting out with exciting but meaningless accolades like Class Poet in high school, and writing a first novel at 24, I didn’t find my first gig as a full-time writer until 2001. Luckily, I’ve been able to make a living as a writer since then, writing thousands of articles.

However—and this is a big however—I haven’t made a living off my novels.

Few writers do.

With a busy freelance business, the time I have where I’m both available and able to enjoy writing fiction is severely limited. Not that I have to be inspired to write dialogue or expand on plotting notes. It’s simply that if I try to sit down and hack away at a WIP with little energy and even less inspiration, the results are…well, subpar at best.

This year, the grey period between Xmas and New Year’s served as a small vacation for my wife and me. During those ten days, I added a grand total of 100 words to my current project…almost all of which came to me in a dream. I know, I’m not going to win any National Novel Writing Month awards for 2022.

Then again, that’s never been my style. I’m better served by laboring over a manuscript when it works, and putting it aside when it doesn’t. Cranking out 50K words of garbage and then trying to turn it into gold would probably kill me.

So there you have it. Somewhat off the rails, but still trying to steer the train back on track. Hope your 2023 (and mine) turns out both productive and enjoyable!

Today’s blog post was originally going to be Write Whatever the @#$% You Want, Pt. III. However, after seeing parts I and II lined up, I decided to call an audible and make it something less repetitive. Somehow the SEO gods have gotten into my head.

As I’ve mentioned in a previous post or two, I’ve been reading Remembrance of Things Past, a.k.a. In Search of Lost Time, Proust’s 4,000-page, seven-volume masterpiece. At the same time, I’ve also been writing about artificial intelligence, cryptocurrency, and other 21st-century phenomena.

As you can imagine, the gulf between modern technologies and 19th-century concerns seems to yawn wider every day.

That leads me to today’s headline, Those Tricky French Authors and Their Obsessions. I kind of get why Balzac drank coffee by the gallon and Proust was neurotic to the core. Who wouldn’t be jacked up, living in a place like the photo above? I took that picture in 2010 and have been more obsessed with France, not less, ever since.

More Current Obsessions (With No Segue)

It seems we are living in the age of the hyphen, not just the age of the acronym. In the past two hours alone, I’ve come across the phrases meta-medium, micro-content, and circuit-miles in my online reading. And those are for freelance gigs. No wonder this post is already littered with hyphens. Circuit-miles? Do people Google this stuff to find out what it’s supposed to mean?

I’m also seeing some incredibly unrealistic pay rates for writers, er, content creators. Fifteen bucks an hour? Look, I know companies need to tighten their belts and so forth. But let’s try to be mindful of the dollar’s declining value and the ever-higher cost of living. What cost seven dollars in 1978 now costs $32. Do those jobs that paid seven bucks an hour then command $32 an hour now? I’m gonna say, No. 

Maybe we should have a premium on hyphens for writers: for every hyphenated phrase you provide in an article, you get a $10 bonus. That should make everybody happy.

I’m kidding. Somehow, between reading Proust and writing about computer programming, I’m learning to straddle a line between Hunter Thompson and Kurt Vonnegut. That should help with my work-in-progress, Jihad Insurance, which is supposed to be funny, after all. Only time will tell. 

Okay, enough rambling for today. Happy Monday, people!