Anyone who has read a handful of my blog posts, or better yet, my fiction, probably has a pretty good handle on where I stand politically. I’ve been known to rail against the orange monster in the Oval Office from time to time. In fact, I wrote back in 1994 that someday working class people would likely use his name as a curse word. Little did I ever dream a clown like him would become the most powerful, and thus most dangerous, man in the world.

And with just over a week until what’s undoubtedly the most important US election ever, I find myself once again in the unenviable position of obsessing about the potential outcomes. As I did four years ago, I find myself on 270towin.com or 538.com, running the numbers, hoping for the best, fearing the worst.

So in the interest of just getting it off my chest, I guess, here are the top five scenarios I can envision—in order from worst to best. Full disclaimer here, of course, is that there are other possibilities.

 

The Big Five

1) Triumph the Insult President is reelected decisively. I don’t see this as likely because, after all, how much catastrophe can one country take? With the COVID-19 numbers skyrocketing again, and even the over-inflated markets teetering on the brink of a possibly historic collapse, it simply isn’t logical. Then again, I don’t ever count the guy out. Like a cockroach, he seems to have an ungodly, almost unfathomable resilience. If this scenario plays out, God help us all.

2) Biden loses by a small margin, and the US goes through a horrendous 2000-style court battle—leading all the way to the Supreme Court, which will conveniently have a new Justice in their chambers. Yay, democracy. I can see this playing out in frenetic fashion, and again, it’s not much better than the first scenario. I’m still trying to maintain some semblance of sanity, however, and hoping that this is also unlikely. But as we all learned in 2016, the polls don’t mean much; it’s the final Electoral College tally that matters.

3) Biden wins by a small margin. This is quite possibly the most likely scenario, and if it happens, we’re still in for at least a full six weeks of chaos, up to and including January 20th. It could play out like #2 in terms of court battles, but could go the other way as well. Still frightening, but at least a win on the books initially would give us the hope we so badly need right now.

4) Biden wins decisively. Now, this a best-case scenario, I will readily acknowledge. Everything goes right, and even a few court skirmishes in select states are not enough to overturn the will of “We the People.” No doubt it will still cause chaos—because of 45’s brain-dead supporters, not to mention the Sociopath-in-Chief himself—but maybe we can finally begin to recover from the most damaging, divisive, and flat-out exhausting administration ever.

5) It’s a tie! I’m kidding. It’s not at all funny that this can happen, though, right? We need to get rid of the Electoral College. Seriously.

 

And There You Have It

None of these are actual predictions, folks. Just running scenarios. But in all seriousness, I truly hope we can come out the other side of this a smarter, humbler, better-informed people. And beyond that, I hope the voters who put this monster into office take a good look at themselves and do some due diligence before they vote for anyone else in the future.

As for the folks who still support the guy, with 225K Americans dead, and counting—well, let’s just say they will make it much easier for me to be an expatriate someday. I really don’t want to know them at all.

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